Joe Secor (Sikofsky) - Yoseph ben Gershon Leib halevi v’Hannah
July 31st 1951, New York - June 26th, 2025, Colorado
Joe Secor? Not Joe Secor. I just talked to him the other day...Last week...Not possible...Joe Secor? That seems to be everyone’s reaction when they hear this shocking news. How could it be that this active, positive, loving, kind, optimistic mensch could no longer be with us? It just doesn’t seem real, doesn’t seem possible.
There’s a teaching in Pirkei Avot, a collection of ancient rabbinic wisdom. Rabbi Hanina ben Dosa says: “kol she’ma’asav m’rubin mei’chochmato, chochmato mitkayemet, v’chol she’chochmato m’rubin mi’ma’asav, ayn chochmato mitkayamet. A person whose deeds, whose actions exceed their wisdom, their wisdom will endure; but those whose wisdom exceeds their deeds, their wisdom will not survive.”
This teaching definitely fits Joe. He was a man of action, of deeds, who always showed up with his joyful presence, accepting and embracing everyone for who they were, fixing things, teaching practical skills, riding his bike or skiing, always ready to help when he could. His deeds exceeded his wisdom and, therefore, his wisdom endures! Not that he wasn’t wise, but he was not academic and, according to his brother Jake, he hated school! In fact Jake shared that he once scored a zero in a 25 question multiple choice quiz and the teacher thought he was mocking them, but he wasn’t. Yet Joe had so much wisdom of a different kind.
Joe was born on July 31st 1951 in Mercy Hospital, Rockville Center, New York and grew up in Seaford, Long Island. He lived in Colorado for over 50 years and he never lost that strong New York accent! He was the middle child of three with his older brother Jake and his younger sister Rachel, sadly no longer with us, to George and Ann Sikofsky, later to become Secor.
Joe was always well liked. All of his childhood friends remember him as sweet and kind. As a kid, Joe was fun loving, not very well coordinated and a bit goofy. He was a boy scout and Joe and Jake went to scout camp together and years later Joe became a boy scout all over again with his grandsons Even and Lev in Israel.
Joe loved tinkering. He liked taking things apart and sometimes he put them back together again. He liked experimenting and pressing buttons. Joe’s parents had a hardware store and Joe and his sister Rachel spent many days and evenings working there and developed a really deep sibling bond that led to Rachel following Joe to Colorado and they were so close right up to the end of Rachel’s life. Joe and Jake also had a great relationship and spoke almost every day.
Joe got a 2 year college Associate Degree in business management at Nassau Community College, which set him up for his successful career in business.
The story goes that Joe had a VW van with a broken axle, which he fixed with epoxy glue from the hardware store and then sold the van. He and his friend Stevie Shotler then hitchhiked from New York to California, stopping in Colorado on the way, which Joe fell in love with.
He used to say that in 1971 “all the signs pointed to New York City and I wanted to go the opposite direction.” John Denver was singing Rocky Mountain High and after returning briefly to New York, they came back to Colorado and never left. Joe worked in Denver in the Kwall paint store and became manager in the Boulder store on Pearl before Pearl Street Mall existed. He and Stevie started Apple House Painting, which eventually became Joseph Secor Painting in 1980, and was very successful. Joe worked really hard, knowing that he had to stay focused to succeed. He used to say he wanted to write a book called “The Jewish Homes I painted in Boulder.” He owned the business for 45 years and was very trusting, ethical and honest, and he was deeply respected in business. He was very generous, especially with his time. He would always show up to help people and always had projects on the go.
Joe lived on Arapahoe Avenue and was housemate with Carol’s brother Sandy. Carol and Joe met in 1978 when Carol came to visit Sandy. Joe always said that it was love at first sight when he saw her on the porch waiting for her brother. Joe was smitten. They had a two year long distance romance and eventually Carol moved to Boulder in June 1980 and they were married in 1981 in Akron, Ohio where Carol’s parents lived. A destination wedding as Joe called it. They have been the love of each other’s lives for 43 years and considered marriage a job to be taken seriously. Joe always said, even on his last night on Wednesday night, that he was the luckiest man in the world and Carol said that she was the luckiest woman in the world. Joe and Carol have always been such a great team, which I have witnessed several times personally, most memorably on the epic Team Secor biking trip of the White Rim Trail in Moab in 2009. They have always adored each other.
Joe was into motor cycles and started riding bikes without engines in 1982. He was the unofficial ambassador of the Boulder Cycling Club, always riding at the back to support others. He rode Old Fall River Road just a week ago and rode in many of the Colorado classic rides, and rode for 20 years in the Wheels of Love ride in Israel, raising money for the Alyn Hospital.
Joe was very frugal in many ways, looking for the bargain and wondering why you would ever buy something new if you could fix the old one. Jake said he had a Rube Goldberg quality to his fixing endeavors. He became less frugal when he got really into the gear associated with biking and skiing, both of which I have had the pleasure of doing with Joe.
Carol and Joe moved to Gunbarrel by Twin Lakes and started a family bringing their wonderful daughters Ruth and Aaran into the world. Ruth said: “dad was always home for dinner, even if he had to go back to work afterwards.” He was the most hands on father. He always took them to school on the first day with his goofy, sometimes embarrassing dad presence. Carol was working 5 days a week as a dental hygienist, so if the kids were sick or anything, it would always be Joe who would pick them up from school. With Joe, the girls learned to ride bikes, ski downhill and cross country, they camped and hiked and loved time with their dad. All their friends really loved Joe too and always enjoyed coming to the house.
Joe worked with Aaran on a big science project together on acid rain, which fascinated him and even though he had hated school, he was great at helping them with their homework and their projects. He was always proud of his daughters’ achievements, whatever they were, and always supported them in their decisions.
Joe was curious and interested in learning new things. He empowered everyone to be capable of living their potential. He believed in people. Just get on the bike! Joe invested his time in people and was such a great friend to many. He was an eternal optimist, always with a smile on his face and a positive attitude. Even though he was cynical of the woowoo Boulder self-help culture, Joe was always about improving himself. Carol said “I was reactive, Joe was proactive.”
When Ruth moved to Israel, Joe embraced it and grew to love Israel. Menachem was the son they never had and they had a great relationship, even if Menachem didn’t take to skiing, but they got into snowmobiling and Menachem was always in awe of Joe and learned a lot from him.
Ruth said that Joe was the best grandfather you could ever imagine to his seven grandchildren. He had always loved kids and was a wonderful father and uncle, his own inner child came alive when he was around kids. He fully embraced everything that the grandkids were doing and did it with them! Joe found joy in everything, like the simple pleasure of having yoghurt and berries with the grandchildren!
Joe loved music and theater. He loved learning and teaching. He ate healthily and cared about the earth and ethical farming practices. He lived a very healthy life and it made him happy to live healthily. Joe was an early adopter of youtube, watching videos to learn new skills, which in his retirement included cooking. Joe had such a lev tov, a good heart and it is so tragic that he died of a massive heart attack. What a gentle, kind soul and a mensch. What a terrible loss.
Although he was not religious, Joe was Jewish through and through with his values, his actions and his support of community. He used to say that even though he had not necessarily been looking for a Jewish woman, his life was much better for marrying one! Carol and Joe became members of Bonai Shalom in 1985 when Aaran was born and they helped build and paint the synagogue. Joe helped build the sukkah every year and with Jay Wolf, he built the portable ark that we still use on High Holidays. He recently painted my new kitchen! At Synagogue of the Summit in Summit County, they participated in mitzvah day, painting a day care center. Joe always volunteered his time and his skills. Joe’s spirituality was mostly found when he was riding his bike, which he had been doing just the day before he died.
Joe has lived a full life since retiring and he recently told Aaran that nothing was owed to him. He had a happy and fulfilling life.
In a later section of the same chapter in Pirkei Avot, Rabbi Elezar ben Azzariah (Avot 3:22) says that one whose wisdom exceeds one’s good deeds is like a tree with few roots and many branches that can topple in the wind, but one whose good deeds exceed one's wisdom is like a tree with many roots and fewer branches, which can never be moved from its steady place. Joe’s good deeds, kindness and actions in this world have formed many deep roots in the earth and his steadfast presence will remain within all of us who were touched by his life, yet there are plenty of branches too rustling in the wind with Joe’s wisdom.
Hamakom y’nachem - blessings of strength and comfort to the mourners, devoted wife Carol, brother Jacob, daughters Ruth (Menachem), Aaran and grandchildren Evan, Lev, Matan, Lena, Nadav, Mia and Ana.
Shalom al nishmato - Peace on the soul of Yoseph ben Gershon Leib halevi v’Hannah. May Joe’s memory always be a blessing and bring a smile.
Rabbi Marc
